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Ernie's Blog |
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Hi my name
is Ernie and I'm Support Dogs Blog Dog.
I kept a diary whilst training to become a Disability Assistance Dog for
Kate. Everyone liked it so much that they asked me to continue to write
about my exploits after I qualified and even gave me the fancy title of
‘Ernie the Blog Dog’.
I hope you enjoy! |
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Who's
Who in My World: Kate:
The boss (who I support)
Gavin:
Second-in-Command (so he thinks)
Norman: My friend & mentor,
Support Dog 54 (retd)
Dave:
My Dogfather and long-distance walking partner
Sadie: My
girlfriend (Black Lab)
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To read my
previous blogs simply click on a month:
June July
August
January 2008 |
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My friend, Noel
Edmonds, says “Give a Dog a Phone!” |
I have to confess that I have been harbouring a secret for a few
weeks. Whilst I was relaxing in the hydrotherapy pool before
Christmas, Kate took a call from Support Dogs to see if I would like
to be filmed ‘doing my stuff’ for a ‘major prime-time TV show’.
Highly intriguing – What show? What channel? Who presents? Who
cares?!? It sounded a great opportunity for Support Dogs to become
known to a wider audience and I wanted to play my part………oh,
alright, I have harboured desires of being on TV as I spend a lot of
time staring intently at animal programmes and have often wondered
how they get in there without me seeing or smelling them first. Now
at last I might be able to discover the secret.
A date was fixed for a film crew to come and film me at home. Kate
was in a major flap – cleaning anything that stood still (alas I got
caught up in that and ended up with a shampoo attack after which I
just could not do a thing with my hair!). She even finished painting
the new doors throughout our bungalow at 1.30am the night before.
She was sure I would be filmed everywhere around the house and
didn’t want them to look half-painted, even if that’s how they
actually were. Now is that human logic, or feminine logic? I’m not
sure as I am neither human nor feminine.
The crew, in the form of Alison and another Kate arrived – this
could get confusing – and I was so excited that I greeted them at
the door with a phone in my mouth as it was the nearest thing to
paw. It’s a strong instinct in Labradors to present presents when
people arrive, particularly if it’s Gavin and/or Kate. Sometimes
it’s a slipper or shoe (very occasionally Norman and I fetch a whole
matching pair between us), a favourite toy or even, to Kate’s
embarrassment, articles of underwear swiped from my laundry pile.
However, I was soon to learn that ‘TV people’ are not like other
people: I accompanied the crew into the living room whilst Kate went
to make everyone a drink……….and was most perturbed to find them
moving the furniture and lights around. Very strange behaviour! I
went into the kitchen looking a bit anxious – this was a new one on
me and I didn’t know whether Kate would want me to stop them (a)
with menaces (which I don’t do) or (b) with licks (which I do
enthusiastically) or if I should just ignore it. Kate reassured me
that it was ok with her, so I relaxed by stretching out on my
sofa……..well, it was more like staking a claim on it really, and
kept a watchful eye on the proceedings as both Gavin and Kate were
interviewed. Boy did Norman’s and my ears burn!
Then it was my turn: Cue boundless energy and turn gorgeousness up
to maximum! I was filmed doing my work around the house and
outside……….again and again and again as they wanted different camera
angles and close ups and so forth. I was quite happy to oblige as it
ensured that my best side was filmed again and again and again. All
in all it took over 5 hours! This TV lark is harder work than it
looks and I must admit that I slept (and snored) my way through band
practice that evening rather than give constructive comments to
their playing.
And that was my part over with…………..or was it?
A Star is Found
I was relaxing (again!) in the hydrotherapy pool when Kate took
another call from Support Dogs to say that Noel Edmunds wanted Kate
and me to make a star appearance on Noel’s HQ in just 10 days time.
All very cloak and dagger James Bond-like! Kate was delighted until
she realised that ideally she should lose 10kg in 10 days………realised
it was impossible………gave up on the idea and was just delighted
again. Her only worry, apparently, was that I would dog snog Noel
Edmunds on Live TV. Kate does get embarrassed easily, don’t you
think? Maybe I am just a natural Luvvie.
Hmmmm! I have just read through what I have written and you might
just get the impression that I spend most of my life relaxing in the
hydrotherapy pool (quite probably lounging on a lilo, cocktail in
paw). To put the record straight, I only go to the pool once a week
and there are no lilos involved, just swimming. It was pure
coincidence that I was in the pool for both calls from Support Dogs!
Can you imagine how prune-like my skin would become if I were in
there so often? I would start to resemble a Sharpei!
Gavin had pre-existing plans (and was somewhat upset at missing out
on meeting Philippa Forrester), so Kate took our friend Violaine
with us to the Big Smoke to share the experience. It really is a
small world: when we arrived at Paddington station and were looking
round for the driver to take us to our hotel (as is the norm when
you are a TV star, apparently), we bumped into ‘Pistol Pete’, the
bass trombonist from the brass band!
We arrived at our hotel, dropped our bags and went off in search of
somewhere to take me for a run. It is very important for all dogs,
but Assistance Dogs in particular, to have regular exercise off the
lead where we can let our hair down and get in touch with our inner
dog. This is a strong thread through much of my blog as galloping
round with friends is one of my favourite pastimes. Besides, it is
healthy for dogs to have hobbies in the same way that it is healthy
for humans to have hobbies.
The Secret Life of Plants Grass - Ernie
Attenborough
This was my first foray into the Urban Jungle, otherwise known as
Wembley. I was astonished just how built up it was – concrete,
brick, tarmac and paving stretching out as far as the eye could see
in every direction. Some of the taller tower blocks could rival the
Amazonian rainforest trees in height and seemed to reach the skies.
I was on a mission to find grass in the Urban Jungle. After a long
journey in from the country, I needed to do what dogs need to do and
I prefer use grass. As I hunted for the elusive green blades, my
nose picked up a cornucopia of smells. I was particularly keen on
all the foodie ones. The Urban Jungle is a fertile place for food
establishments and it’s good to know that I won’t starve here.
Suddenly my healthy kibble does not seem quite so appealing….
I literally found four weedy blades of grass fighting to push
through a small patch of earth and gain enough height and maturity
to tiller out before being trampled into oblivion by hordes of
humans heading to Wembley Stadium.

Wembley Stadium is a very important place indeed. There is the
widest pavement I have ever seen linking Wembley Stadium with the
Underground Station (which, curiously, is reached by going UP a huge
flight of steps) to cater for the crowds who flock here to worship.
According to the signs this pavement is called ‘Olympic Way’
although everyone I met called it ‘Wembley Way’ which is probably
the most accurate description as it truly is the way to Wembley.

Happily this was a safe area
for me to let Kate off the lead so I could scurry about conducting
in-depth investigations.
“We’re on our way to
Wembley!”
“Here we are but this was as close as I got to grass all week end”
Rumour has it that within these temple walls is a large expanse of
the best-tended grass ever which is revered by city-dwelling humans
on Saturdays. I decided to take a closer look and offer to aerate
the grass by galloping round on it chasing a ball whilst digging my
claws into the surface. This has to be a better way than the funny
studded boots that humans put on to chase a ball round with as this
actually damages the surface.
Sadly my kind offer was
rejected by the guards……..so we wandered back to base camp and got
some beauty sleep ready for the evenings excitement.
Star Appearance on Noel’s HQ
Joining me at Noel’s HQ was Seizure Alert Dog, Ajay (Arthur to me)
with Toni. Auntie Rita and Auntie Angela from the training centre
were going to be sitting in the audience along with Violaine and
‘other halves’ Dan and Mark egging us on. Ajay and I make a striking
pair as I am a Black Labrador and he is a Golden Retriever, although
that did spark off a long phone conversation between Kate and Toni
earlier in the week about ‘I don’t know what to wear! What are you
wearing? I can’t wear (cream/black) because (Ajay/Ernie) won’t show
up against it but all the dropped hairs will if I wear
(black/cream)’ No such problem for Ajay and I as dogs are always
appropriately dressed whatever the occasion and our Support Dog
jackets are a smart extension of that.
Fountain Studios was very close to our hotel, so we walked across
(down Wembley Way again!) with Ollie, the Runner assigned to keep us
in order. Actually I never got to see Ollie actually run; perhaps
‘walker’ would be a more appropriate job title, although I suspect
she was being polite since Kate can’t run and would get left behind.
Our dressing room was next to Noel’s and was very comfortable with
sofas, fridge, TV, ensuite bathroom and, of course, the archetypal
dressing room mirror framed by lightbulbs.
Here's Auntie Rita showing Ajay and me the dressing table, me
deciding not to wear make-up as shiny coat and nose are signs of a
healthy dog and Ajay about to have a wash at the sink


Ollie looked after us
admirably fetching drinks and sandwiches (Ajay and I stuck to Bonios
and water) and also accompanied us outside for a quick ‘comfort
break’ before the show. On the way out, we bumped into Keith Chegwin
who knew my name!! I nearly fell over in shock! He had previewed the
finished film and asked Kate what I took out of the washing machine.
I think he wanted to know if I could sort out tangled pairs of
jeans, cope with large duvets and yet still handle smalls and treat
delicates er, delicately. Answer ‘Yes’ to all the above. After the
briefest hesitation Kate diplomatically replied ‘Whatever is in
there’. This is actually true as I am very biddable (except when I’m
not!), although if anything other than washing was in the machine on
more than one occasion, then it would be my duty to alert the
medical services.
Outside there was a huge long queue of people waiting to watch the
programme – my adoring public! All that was missing was the red
carpet, but as Kate said, it was not a Film Premiere. I wanted to
start signing pawtographs right away, but security would not allow
it before the show; I’m really sorry, guys.
Alison appeared in the dressing room to run through the questions
that Noel Edmonds would probably ask. She fired one off at Kate who
just looked blank! Those of you who know Kate know that it’s very
unusual, almost unheard of, for her to be stuck for words. An
anxious look flashed across all of our faces – had Kate got stage
fright? Was she going to blow it for us? No! She didn’t realise that
she was expected to answer right then and there, besides which she
had no frame of reference eg what would have been said previously or
if the film clip had been shown so it was impossible to put it into
context.
At 7pm everyone barring Toni, Ajay, Kate and I were shown to their
seats in the audience and at 7.30pm we were taken backstage. Kate
and I had to make our way to the other side of the wings by creeping
along the back of the set. There were lots of trip hazards and
everything was lit up by eerie blue lights (which emitted a strange
hissing noise – I had to double-check that this was the lights and
not jungle snakes). I held my breath as we made our way across; Kate
falls quite often, as you know, and I was fervently hoping that she
wouldn’t do so now as the programme had already started and,
remember, it is a live transmission so there would have been no way
of editing out any large crashes and subsequent expletives!
The crew had kindly put a seat out for Kate whilst we waited for our
cue. This gave me time to inspect the lights and hissy noises more
closely. Now I understand about cameras and camcorders and even
phones that take pictures and movies as well; it’s how these bits
get into everyone’s home TVs all at the same time (perhaps like
Father Christmas?) that I want to establish and I think these lights
and hissy noises create some kind of transformative ether. They
should bring back Tomorrows World and perhaps I could co-present
with Philippa Forrester.
I snapped out of my ponderings as Noel invited the audience to “Meet
my friend, Ernie!” and Kate and I strode out onto the stage.
The applause was great! But where was my brass band? After all we
had met Pete the Trombonist at Paddington so the others could not
have been far away. Oh well, we settled down on the sofa (actually,
I was very polite and stayed on the floor next to Noel having my
ears fondled) and we had a quick chat. I must admit it is all a bit
of a blur and went so very quickly – but it was great! Kate answered
her questions about Disability Assistance Dogs absolutely fine
(phew!) and when they cut to the film taken at my house and at the
training centre, Toni and Ajay joined us on the sofa to talk about
Seizure Alert Dogs.
Now to be frank, even though I’m Ernie, the opportunity to promote
the work and existence of Support Dogs on such a prime-time
feel-good show with prestigious presenters was fantastic enough. But
those of you who have grown up with Noel – which is a significant
number – know that he likes to spring surprises. And what a great
one it is!
Noel’s HQ has arranged with Orange Phone shops nationwide to launch
a campaign asking people to “Fetch your mobile and give a dog a
phone!”
Noel had already been out at the Bullring in Birmingham and brought
back almost 700 phones just like that! It will take 2,000 phones to
train and maintain a single Support Dog, so every single phone is
important! Perhaps clubs, schools and workplaces could get together
and make a collection to take to their local Orange shop. If you let
Support Dogs know who you are and how many then we could name check
your organisation in the magazine and website.
Like many charities Support Dogs already had arrangements for people
to benefit the charity by donating old phones, but this has always
been very low key. But with the backing of household names Noel,
Keith and Philippa (have you noticed how I am on first name terms
with the stars?), the programme itself and a household name company
this can go stratospheric.
And if this means that more people who need Support Dogs can learn
of their existence and that there is capacity (trainers and
facilities) to train more dogs to meet the demand – Well!
The campaign is a brilliant idea, not least for the captions it
provides! Donating your phone is a winner in several ways
It benefits Support Dogs (hooray!)
It promotes Recycling (always a good thing and a nice touch as
Support Dogs ‘recycle’ dogs from rescue centres)
It benefits people in Third World countries via charitable
organisations committed to supplying refurbished phones to remote
areas where land lines are not a practical option
Philippa Forrester then appeared with half a dozen or so pet dogs.
This could have been mayhem – it very nearly was we were all jumped
on by a lovely little terrier called Kim who tangled Kate, Toni,
Ajay and I together and spent the rest of the show with us. So I’m
afraid I didn’t catch this part of the show, nor did I see the girls
dressed up as mobile phones collecting from the audience. Auntie
Angela is hoping to borrow them so that Gavin can wear one at Crufts
– I think I’ll have to be very nice to Gavin in a bid to persuade
him!
It all went so quickly but I loved every minute of it – even sitting
in the audience watching the second half (studying the camera crew
intently to further my research on how to get inside the TV)
Afterwards there is always the post-production party in the Green
Room which actually wasn’t green at all. Noel, Philippa and Keith
were fantastic meeting and greeting all their guests and spending a
long time posing for photos with us.


I must confess I snogged
Philippa Forrester (Gavin is sooooo jealous!) to welcome her as
Support Dogs newest patron, but I didn’t leave out Noel and Keith
either. I am definitely a Luvvie.
I really hope that we are invited back to give an update, partly
because I had such a great time and want to do it again and partly
because Kate wants to get a better photo of Noel and I but mostly
because we would like to thank you for supporting us!
Back in our dressing room Ajay and I flopped out exhausted. Not only
were we doing the TV show we also had to work at the same time.
A lot of what we do involves watching and being alert. Yes, we are
male and yes, we can multitask – a very rare combination,
particularly in humans, I believe, and why we can wear our
prestigious blue jackets with pride.
Back at the hotel I slept very well that night!
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January 2009 |
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Happy New Year to you all!

Actually I’m a little confused because Kate started referring to
2008 in the past tense by Boxing Day and it’s really unlike her to
be early with anything! Regular readers of my blog have been
disappointed (hopefully) about my lack of blogging last year. This
is because I have been working so hard supporting Kate who had a
pretty terrible year health wise. I went way above the call of duty
and could not leave her side to sneak onto the computer to blog.
There were some high points to 2008, and I shall shortly write a
resume of the good things in 2008.
Thankfully 2009 looks to be a better year; the brass bands are
doing well, we have brass band summer school and other trips to look
forward to and we might even find a home to meet our needs - anyone
know of a 3-4 bedroom wheelchair accessible bungalow with large
kitchen, open fires and situated in a field in deep countryside
within 10 miles of Malvern?!?
Ok! A date for your diary: on
Saturday 20th June
2009 I enjoyed last
years Swimathon at Sheffield so much last year that I am holding a
Doggy Swimathon at my hydrotherapy pool at Halfkey Hydrotherapy
Centre, Halfkey, Malvern to raise funds for Support Dogs (where
else??) Keep watching this space for further information of how you
can be a part of it. I have already persuaded my band, Malvern Hills
District Brass Band, (www.malvernhillsbrassband.co.uk)
to provide some entertainment as playing might be the only sit-down
that Kate and I get all day!
January got off to a smashing start for Kate – quite literally as
she had a nasty fall onto her face when crossing the road back to
the car from the pet shop. I was a little disappointed that someone
was with her, so I didn’t have to rush off and find help – one of my
favourite jobs, so I contented myself with trying to lick all the
blood from her face.
She has been sporting a superb shiner with bruising all down the
side of her face (inside and out) along with a good dose of ‘gravel
rash’. She had to have stitches in her right hand and two weeks on
still has amazing bruises on her right arm and leg; it looks like
she is wearing camouflage clothing! She is still concussed and
talking more rubbish than usual, not that anyone really notices any
difference. She also has a headache and needs to sleep a lot – the
archetypal grizzly bear with a sore head in need of hibernation. I
have licked her wounds despite her not being very keen on it and
snuggle up very close. In fact, if Norman and I lie bum to bum next
to her, we can achieve full-length Lab-love.
Happily Kate still felt up to a weekend away for her birthday.
Gavin took us all to Weston-super-Mare to stay in a dog-friendly
B&B. As a registered Assistance Dog I can stay anywhere I like, but
now that Norman has retired he only has pet dog status hence our
choice of venue. Ah! But what a choice! Just 200yds away from the
beach and a lovely room with nice thick carpet and a warm radiator
to put my bed beside. Kate and Gavin raved about their breakfast
which was, sadly, not inclusive for dogs……..but it smelt
mouth-wateringly good and Norman left some drool drips on the carpet
I’m afraid.
Weston is a fantastic place for meeting other dogs! I galloped
round the beach before having a late fish and chip lunch and then
walking in Weston Woods searching for an Iron Age fort. Sunday was
spent galloping round the beach again although Norman had to sleep
Saturday’s exertions off during Sunday morning. It was really good
to just be a dog for a couple of days although that was quite long
enough, thank you very much!
Last Thursday I was left at the railway station, just like
Paddington Bear. Actually, I fib a little, but Kate did drop me off
at the station which was unusual as we always travel together. Then
I saw my new walking pals Steve and Glynis who took me on an away
day trip to Oxfordshire for a walk. I have to say I didn’t give Kate
a second glance once the train got into the station, though I have
made up for it since.
My biggest news I left for last: I am finally making my debut on
TV! ‘Twas just confirmed a few days ago that I am one of the two
Support Dogs chosen to be interviewed by Noel Edmonds and Philippa
Forrester on Noels HQ (7.30pm, Sky 1, Sat 24th January).
I shall leave you in suspense about who the other one is, but it’ll
be nice to see them again. I’m not really sure what to expect,
although I did have a quick splurge of shampoo after my hydrotherapy
session yesterday to ensure my coat is glossy and gorgeous for the
camera.
Oh yes, just for the record, I do hydrotherapy purely for
relaxation (it’s really stressful looking after Kate as the photo
shows):

It all started a year ago when Norman was referred to help his
ancient arthritic elbows. He injured them when he was a youngster
and liked jumping walls and fences. Touch wood I have heeded the
lesson and been more careful. Now being Labradors, we ADORE water
(the dirtier and smellier the better) and, of course, I had to
accompany Kate in my work role when she took Norman. Well! I just
looked so very sad and dejected by the pool when Norman was
obviously having such a good time in the water that Kate decided I
should be allowed a weekly swim too. It’s very relaxing in the warm
water and I keep telling her that prevention is better than
cure………..and she just smiles and tells me that “I’m worth it”. Now
where’s that bottle of shampoo??
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Ernie's Mobile Blog -
December 2008 |
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Hi guys!
The name's Ernie, Georgeous
Ernie, licenced to lick, and writing from the comfort of hotel room
number 007.
Aha!
I hear you say, Kate (aka M and Q) has succumbed to your demands for
a Blackberry. Well, that's not too far from the truth, only I'm very
much a 'meat and gravy' kind of dog; fruit really isn't my
thing.....so a 'fruity phone' isn't quite me. That also scuppered my
getting an Apple iPhone, despite the trendy colours (though why
would anyone want any other colour than black? I'm with Henry
Ford!).
So I have gone for a Samsung
Omnia as I howl a sotto voce 'Ommm' when mediating lying upside-down
hanging over the edge of the sofa. It's also black. How do I
reconcile my choice with the dog-eating thing in Korea (shudder)?
Well, I suggest you visit the Samsung stand at Crufts next year
(after you have seen me and my pals on the Support Dogs stand!) and
find out about Assistance Dogs in Korea.
So I'm delighted with my
phone........well, phone, camera, torch, personal organiser, mini
computer - you name it! Sadly it doesn't have poison darts or rocket
launchers incorporated, but then again my car is a humble Renault
Scenic and not a Lotus Esprit. Espionage is far more understated
these days, although a black dj is always de rigeur and goes down
well with the ladies I find!
The touchscreen is far more
paw'n'claw friendly than buttons, although Kate has to use the
pointy stick for precision as she doesn't have claws. See?! I told
you this device was designed for dogs!
It's good to know I can blog
from anywhere in the world. You should get far more regular updates
from me now. Kate and I lead such busy lives together it's good not
to be restricted to a computer on a lead. Ours can't even move from
the desk. Computers, like dogs, prefer to be roaming free, although
I must say I have reservations about blue tooth. Why would anyone
want to do that!? It's not as if blue goes with everything in the
way that black does, or even white, so I shall carry on cleaning my
gleaming white gnashers every night as usual. Blue teeth are
definately a passing fad.
Just thought: Now that I have
my passport I can be a 'Rover Reporter' too; a holiday programme
reporter would be good. You could watch me emerging from the sea in
my slinky blue Speedos looking more gorgeous than Daniel
Craig......but there we are back to James Bond. I should curl up,
close my eyes and find a quantum of solace in my dreams. Night
night!
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March 2008 - Crufts
Special! |
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Wow! With apologies to Andrew
Lloyd-Webber – Oh! what a circus, Oh! What a show! I had a wonderful
time at Crufts. I met so many people and dogs in all manner of
shapes, sizes and hairstyles (more later); I had an absolute ball! I
was sorry to have only been able to attend on Thursday and Friday
-something to do with Gavin and Kate having a Regional Brass Band
contest at the weekend. Their band didn’t win, so we may as well
have stayed at Crufts, although I must admit I did enjoy the day
romping with my girlfriend, Sadie. ‘Twas the night before Crufts,
and all through the house………………..was a complete state of chaos and
disorder. Norman packed his bags and went to stay with Sadie for the
duration. I had solved my dilemma opting for the low maintenance
‘rumpled just-got-out-of-bed’ look mostly because I couldn’t be
bothered to brush my chest hair and polish my medallion. That look
is sooooooo 70s anyway that I don’t think even I could get away with
calling it retro. I didn’t want to arrive at Crufts with bags and
dark circles so, after band practice, whilst Kate and Gavin were
packing, I dozed off on the settee…………dreaming of
pheasants………………..until I was having a nightmare until I realised
that I was awake. I rolled my eyes until the whites were showing and
my hair stood on end. Just WHAT had happened to Gavin's’ hair?! When
he told me I flattened all my hair down again very quickly because I
didn’t want to be attacked with the clippers as well.
Gavin told me that at 11.30pm, a very tired Kate insisted he ‘was
not going to Crufts looking like that’ and brandished the clippers.
Zchump! The hair fell away from front to back and it was then that
Kate realised she had forgotten to put the comb attachment on. Now
this is a chap who normally has a number 4 cut, but now he had a
shaved tram line up the middle which made him look as though he had
an inverse Mohican. Note: a Mohican looks like when I put up all my
hackles when guarding against things that aren’t really there
outside. Cue lots of manic hysterical nervous giggling from Kate.
She ended up giving him a number 1 cut, artistically blending in the
shaved bits. It didn’t half give me a fright when I lifted my head
up when he came into the living room.
I slept nervously that night.
We got up early and I was particularly excited because last time
Norman went away and bags were packed, I had a brilliant week up at
the Support Dog training centre, so obviously Crufts was going to be
equally good. It got a little confusing though because Gavin dropped
Kate and I off at the station and then he drove off. As you can see
in the photo, it was so early, that we left the house before I could
fetch the newspaper in for Kate so she is reading Metro news.
Now
I knew that Support Dogs had asked me to do a special assignment for
them (The name’s Ernie, don Ernie di Bonio, 003, licensed to lick)
but I really wasn’t expecting everyone to be sending us to Coventry!
However, we dutifully got off the train at Coventry and met a
whole pack of Assistance Dogs – I represented Support Dogs then
there was a Dog for the Disabled, a Canine Partner (whose human had
the same name and same purple wheelchair as my Kate – too bad her
dog was not black like me too!), a Guide Dog and a Hearing Dog. We
were all there to present Virgin trains with an Assistance Dog Star
for excellent service to Assistance Dogs.
‘Waiting for a train’
Now both Norman and I often travel with Virgin trains and we feel
that this award is well-deserved for there are easy-access toilets
in every coach (so there is room for me to assist); the first few
seats have a little extra leg room so there is room for me to tuck
in and not have to lie in the aisle getting trampled underfoot; the
staff are easily identifiable on platforms (even I can see a bright
red uniform) and water bowls are provided for thirsty dogs. We are
often offered help to our seat by staff and have even the conductor
offer to fetch Kate and I refreshments after the ticket collection.
This is particularly welcome as Kate really cannot walk about up and
down carriages when the train is moving. She tried it once recently,
against my advice (as I’d just got myself comfortable) and promptly
fell over. So well done Virgin trains! Keep up the good
work! And if you’re offering, make mine a latte, please.
All the dogs and humans quickly made friends and got on the first
class carriage for the last hop to Crufts. I could get used to
travelling first class as there’s lots of room for dogs, although if
we’re still not allowed to have a seat, then a shag pile carpet
would be an acceptable alternative.
I was most surprised to find Gavin already there when we arrived
(probably because he wasn’t delayed at Birmingham New Street).
Apparently he took the car up as we needed it to get to our hotel
that night. Handy though, as he took a few unofficial photos of the
photo shoot.
Boy! Did I enjoy the photo shoot! A sea of cameras taking my
picture; it was real red carpet treatment……..only there wasn’t
actually a red carpet, but I posed as if there were. Does that make
me a real live ‘Assistance Dog Star’?

Waiting for another train’
‘Virgin trains being awarded their Assistance Dog Star’
And then at last, we arrived at Crufts. I was delighted to find
some of my pals from the training centre already there and delighted
to be reunited with my training partner, Baxter. He has now
qualified and had his smart new blue jacket presented to him by Dr
Roger Mugford. In fact, all the Support Dogs at Crufts were
presented with smart new blue jackets with, wait for it, quelle
excitement, zipped pockets on either side!! I am becoming
quite the fashionista! Kate has put my documentation, her medical
information and spare poo bags in her side and we are still
arguing about what unmentionables I am allowed to put in my
side. Her argument against anything smelly or dead is that should
anything happen to her and someone rummages through the wrong
pocket…..well…..
Gromit welcomed everyone to Crufts and I was delighted to find
someone who has bigger paws than me.

My job was to attract people to the stand which I did, I think,
with great aplomb. I was so laid back, despite all the hustle and
noise that I kept oozing out into the walk way providing a good trip
hazard for careless crowds. I helped with the tombola, picking up
dropped tickets, kissing winners and losers alike.
I was happily lying there watching the world and his dog go past
when I sat up in horror. He smelt like a dog, but I really couldn’t
understand what had happened to his hair! Kate explained that he was
a standard poodle and that his haircut harked back to the days when
they worked. Now I know I remarked earlier that I thought brushed
chest hair and polished medallion was a little too 1970s, but this
extreme afro eclipses that! Mind you, I can only go by what I saw in
‘Life on Mars’. Kate says I watch too much television, but I can
truthfully say that I will stick to my easy-care Teflon-coated coat
and definitely continue to avoid watching ‘Cutting It’ and
‘Celebrity Hairdresser’ as they’re far too scary for me! I shall
also hide under the bed every time Kate gets the clippers out just
in case as I don’t ever want to look as shorn as Gavin.
I did meet one television hero though – Mic Martin from Dog
Borstal. I am an avid watcher of Dog Borstal (it’s the canine
equivalent of armchair sport). Kate has often threatened that that
is where I’ll end up if I misbehave and I think I’d quite enjoy it,
if truth be told, particularly now I’ve met Mic. But as I’ve said
before, I’m on ear-scratching terms with our Chief Constable which I
like to think is my ‘get out of jail free’ card. On another fashion
note (Crufts does things to a dog, you know) I did nearly buy an
ironic ASBO vest as a way of being an anti-hero, but prefer my blue
Support Dog jacket. It might have been a different story had the
ASBO vest been a hoodie, of course!!
I also got within sniffing distance of Ben Fogle too, but he
hadn’t got Inca with him, so I thought I’d leave him to do his
television filming in peace and go sniff out a few more trade
stands.
When we arrived at our hotel after the first day, I was so
exhausted that I climbed onto my bed before Gavin had even managed
to put it on the floor for me.
Later that evening, whilst the humans ate dinner, I managed to
acquaint myself properly with Harvey, who is a Seizure Alert dog,
under the table. His job is very different from mine, but we have
many things in common in that we support our humans to have a full
and independent life. In return we have every creature comfort!
Now Support Dogs have introduced Autism Assistance Dogs too,
which made for a very busy time for us with lots and lots of
enquiries. There are so many ways that we dogs can assist you
humans, you know!

I would have happily stayed for the full four days, despite
being caught dog-napping behind the Support Dog stand. I shall have
to tell the Brass Band Federation to schedule their regional finals
on a different weekend next year! I do apologise to all the readers
of my blog who came to look for me and found I was not there
(although as promised, my almost-as-gorgeous pals were there
instead). I send a special ‘hello’ and enormous lick to the girl who
came at the weekend and hugged another black Lab asking if it was
‘Ernie the famous Blog Dog’. I could do with lots of fans like you!
Happily we think that the dog you mistook to be me might well be a
distant relation of both mine and Normans’, all descended from the
‘Drakeshead’ line of gundogs.
‘Grabbing 20 wuffles’
There was only one flea on the dog for me at Crufts, and that was
despite it being billed as the world’s greatest dog show, not all
the staff were briefed about Assistance Dogs which caused Kate and I
some considerable embarrassment. However, we always like to inform
and look for the positive, the positive in this case being that on
the second day of Crufts, all staff were briefed about the differing
roles of Assistance Dogs – it’s not just Guide Dogs tha’knows! It
seems that a diversity trainer can never have a day off!
I came home and slept like a puppy and sincerely hope that I am
honoured enough to be asked to go again next year! Thank you all for
your support – we had a really good show.

‘Sleeping it off’
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